Some believe Jeffrey Epstein to be dead. A handful of people even think he took his own life. But what if he’s alive, spirited away to safety by the CIA? Weird News specialist Ray Sullivan blew the lid several years ago on Hotel California, a secret island retreat for ‘deceased’ rock stars. Could Epstein be there? NewsBiscuit went undercover to reveal the truth, but we couldn’t find it. Turns out secret islands aren’t easy to locate and the CIA won’t answer even a really polite email. It’s...

Andrew Tate, better known for losing fights and resembling a startled sperm, has attracted attention from the literary community after filming himself driving a fast car and boasting about never reading books. Britain’s current Poet Laureate, Simon Armitage, has been asked to consider stepping down when it became known that Armitage doesn’t own a supercar or any hoes (we understand this is slang for ‘ladies of a certain disposition’). ‘It’s obvious when you think about it’, a spokesman said....

News that driverless taxis are to be rolled out in the UK from September has met with concern from white van men and bus drivers that they might be the only true misogynists left on our roads. ‘It’s traditional, innit’ said Dave, a white van driver from Essex. ‘As much as I love cheering up the ladies with a cheery comment as I drive past, it won’t be the same if the taxis don’t honk their horns or shout something to, you know, reinforce the message’. AI firms have been training driverless...