We’ve all had that useless colleague, the one who swans about looking and sounding important but never does any actual fecking work. For more than a century, Britain has had a special warehouse to store the worst examples, safely keeping them away from the workplace. Located in central London, the House of Commons has brought relief to hundreds of businesses over the years. ‘I didn’t realise how much she was pecking at my head,' said Jenny, a sales manager from Wolverhampton. ‘Then she got...

Arthur Jenkins (51) has ‘reluctantly’ accepted that he might no longer be real. ‘I haven’t been watching The Matrix or eating cheese before bed or anything like that’, he told reporters. ‘It’s just that deepfakes are getting so good that I genuinely can’t tell the difference. I saw one yesterday, Nigel Farage in a Russian hat counting out handfuls of roubles, but when I sent it to my girlfriend she said it was AI generated, and then she told me that she’s AI generated. I was gutted. Never...

Simon Pegg’s 2004 zombie spoof ‘Shaun of the Dead’ was an instant hit, but has been criticised for its treatment of zombies as one-dimensional characters with no autonomy, intellect or artistic sensibilities. His sequel, Operation Raise the Colours, features an even more devastating mass infection event with a twist: the zombies hoist flags on lampposts to mark their territory. ‘We wanted to show zombies as real characters, you know, with hopes and dreams and ladders and flags’, Pegg...