Futureologist channel marketing guru, MadeiraWhine69 explained in snooty tones, 'Rather like the difference between inflow and outflow to one's home, an Influencer is really an Outfluents pipe of sewage, pumping rampant consumerism to the hypnotically challenged. The ins and outs of an industry which operates more as an outdustry are that incomes are responsible for catastrophic global outcomes.' So self absorbed by the way their looks might be perceived by millions of followers, Jen.It. All...

Keir Starmer is unable to get any political messaging across because The Waily Male is monopolising the news cycle with spurious accusations besmirching Labour politicians. Instead of being able to detail fiscal recovery plans, Starmer is left facing a barrage of irate questions about what Ed Miliband did to a puppy in 1993. 'We have installed an advanced system called Three Tombolas,' said a Lucky Dip contractor for The Male. 'The first one produces the name of a Labour politician. The...

.