A survey published today shows that over 72% of the Nation’s migratory birds have either considered just not coming back or have enacted plans to remain abroad. “We spoke to over 3000 birds over the last 2 years”, Dr Gerald Brearly told us, “both here in the UK and abroad in their migratory destinations. We were quite taken aback by the sheer number of British birds that have either settled or already decided to stay in Southern Africa and South America.” Newsbiscuit travelled down to Lesotho...

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Residents of the nation’s most haunted homes have come together to demand their ghosts stop being such dicks.