About NewsBiscuit

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NewsBiscuit was launched by John O’Farrell in September 2006 with the noble aims of eradicating global poverty, creating a lasting peace in the Middle East and providing a daily dose of humour to bored people at work. And in many respects we have already achieved so much more.

In the eight years since its launch, NewsBiscuit has frequently set the news agenda by breaking some of the biggest national and international stories of recent times. NewsBiscuit readers were the first to learn of that the Pools panel had declared the War on Terror an ‘Away Win’, RyanAir to charge for emotional baggage and Grandparent commends offspring’s superior parenting skills.

But although John O’Farrell has been able to call on the support of seasoned comedy professionals Mark Burton and Pete Sinclair, NewsBiscuit still needs a limitless supply of free labour to oil the satirical cogs. And so, under the pretence of providing an outlet on the web for aspiring comedy writers, NewsBiscuit encourages outside contributors to submit stories and one-liners to its Writers’ Room, a form of wiki comedy writing that draws on the best principles of both David Cameron’s Big Society and outsourcing to Far East sweatshops.

The result is that practically all the material on the site is now written by outside contributors, leaving the editors with plenty of time each day to spend on other pastimes such as earning a living. Indeed some of NewsBiscuit’s contributors – thanks to talent, hard work and a willingness to perform sexual favours – have even gone on to receive credits on ratings-topping BBC TV and radio shows, and many more featured in ‘Fifteen Years of Typos’ and the acclaimed ‘Isle of Wight to Get Ceefax’. These books makes an ideal gift for anyone you can’t think of a better present for, and is perfect for concealing from other train passengers that you are actually reading a Dan Brown novel

So if you are looking for an opportunity to spend less time with your loved ones, or just want another way to waste your time in the office, then why not try writing for NewsBiscuit? Just register with the site, visit the Writers’ Room and start sharing your funnies. Anything we like we’ll use, and you retain copyright of anything that you submit (even if it is published on our front page), meaning you can re-use your jokes on your sell-out nationwide stand-up tour, or just down the pub with your mates, without fear that our lawyers will show up, serve you with a writ, and spill your pint. To find out more check out our Guidelines For Contributors, but even if you’d rather leave the comedy to trained professionals and politicians, why not wander into the Chat Room where you can discuss all things comedic with like-minded individuals, or simply ask confused passersby if they know what it was you came in there for.

Finally, if you are a hedge-fund manager or Lord Ashcroft and want to bankroll NewsBiscuit, or simply a kind-hearted person with a soft spot for topical silliness, then you can support NewsBiscuit in a variety of ways, including just spreading the word to your friends.  And if anyone does have any tips on eradicating poverty or ending ethnic conflict, we’d be delighted to hear those too – to be honest, we’re not doing so well on that.

 

FAQs

 

We hope we can answer all of your NewsBiscuit questions here.Submissions Board
1) Do you need any contributors to the site?
2) How does the voting work?
3) How do I format my post?
About NewsBiscuit
1) Do you make any money?
2) Who are you?/Why are you here?
3) Why do you have a submissions board?
4) How do we contact you?
5) Where has my registration email gone?Submission Board Questions
1)  Do you need any contributors to the site?
When we set up the site we thought we’d set up a place for writers to post and comment on each others stories. You can do that here Submissions Board. There are useful Guidelines for Contributors. If you want to see what our readers have voted for, check out the Top Ten Submissions.2) How does the voting work?
The Top Ten is managed by a formula that we only just understand. Rest assured our technical people do.

weighted rank (WR) = (v/(v+m)) * R + (m /(v+m)) * C

where:

R = average for the submission (mean)
v = number of votes for the story
m = minimum votes required to be listed in the top submission list
C = the mean vote across the whole report

However, this seems to produce some fairly eccentric results and we are looking to improve it. (i.e. have a vague intention of doing something about it one day).

3) How do I format my post?
The board is set up using BBcode, which is slightly different to ‘html’. Here are some useful tools.

Bold text [b]bold text[b]
Italic text 
Underline [b]underline[/b]
strike through [s]strike through[/s]
Include link to a website
[url]http://www.newsbiscuit.com[/url]
Include named link to a website [url=http://www.newsbiscuit.com]NewsBiscuit[/url]

Include an image –
/[img]http://newsbiscuit.com/images/267.jpg[/img]
Include a clickable image –
/[img]http://newsbiscuit.com/images/267.jpg[/img][/url]

About Newsbiscuit

1)  Do you make any money?
No, but that’s not the point of the site anyway. Enough of our costs (server, picture researcher etc) are being met by adverts on the site and your kind donations. If you have looked at the tragic personal stories from the Sudan and of the homeless and think that a far better cause would be to keep a half decent satirical website going then please feel free to donate here.

2)Who are you?/Why are you here?

NewsBiscuit was launched in September 2006, with a view to increasing the amount of British satire on the web. It was founded by John O’Farrell who still edits it with varying degrees of support and input from other professional comedy writers from his murky past. One of the ambitions for the site was to provide an outlet for new writing, and in this respect the site has been more successful than we dared hope. Many of the front page stories originate from the submissions board which is proving to be a vibrant seedbed of emerging comic talent. Writers from NewsBiscuit have gone on to write for BBC Radio.

NewsBiscuit doesn’t mean to make any grand claims about being wildly innovative or creating a whole new comic genre. All we’re doing is some fake news with a slightly British perspective. There are other sites that have done this, and there is still room for a few more.

We have a new front page every day, seven days a week. Headlines can be delivered as emails into your inbox, and there are hopes to extend the comic content to features, columnists, etc as long as the standard is sufficiently high.

3) Why do you have a submissions board?

When the creators of NewsBiscuit were keen young cubs eager to learn their comedy writing trade, there were various BBC radio sketch shows that would accept material from outsiders, and they regularly got our (usually rather shite) sketches broadcast late at night on some obscure show. This was a great training ground and provided the opportunity to improve and learn and mollify your anxious parents that you were making at least some progress in life. The submissions board hopefully will allow aspiring writers to have their stuff judged by their peers, to have improvements suggested and to develop writing partnerships or teams (as has already happened).

4)  How do we contact you?

You can email us here.

5)  Where has my registration email gone?

These emails often end up in spam boxes. Have a quick check in there to see if it’s gone in by accident. If it’s not, let us know and we’ll send you a new password.

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