Blind Drunk Again.

Winner: FlashArry

Runners-Up:

"Execution: the civilised way." (Lockjaw);

"This full-bodied white is the perfect tipple for someone recovering from a cataract operation." (Sydalg).

Astonished Crowd see "Man Without a Hat."

Winner: APepper

Runners-Up:

"The Tyne Watchers Society celebrates the annual arrival of The Fog." (Sinnick);

""I dare you to give it a twang."" (DickEveryman)

CBeebies' New Show Axed After Just One Episode.

Winner: MrQ

Runners-Up:

"Liz Truss doll remains unwanted in charity toy bank, three years after being rescued from skip." (Modelmaker);

"Putting the village psycho in charge of getting the prizes for the Church fete Hook-A-Duck stall may have been a mistake." (Midfield Diamond).