The 'Sorting Out Danny' Project Just Needed One Final Push

Winner: Deskpilot

Runners-Up:

"Serious question, Maria. When is your grandmother going to stop following us around with her camera?" (DickEveryman);

"I know it’s been a bad year, it's probably best you do jump. Don't worry I will find someone." (DocHoliday)

Seychelles Invests in Crabto Currency.

Winner: Dick Everyman

Runners-Up:

"Scientists discover arm-paralysing starfish also causes facial rictus." (Rob Falconer);

"Killer starfish claims another victim." (Lockjaw) / "Hero starfish saves another victim." (MrQ).

Blind Drunk Again.

Winner: FlashArry

Runners-Up:

"Execution: the civilised way." (Lockjaw);

"This full-bodied white is the perfect tipple for someone recovering from a cataract operation." (Sydalg).