"You're making a rod for your own back there" said Bob's workmates

Winner: sirlupus

Runners Up: 'After last years debacle, Arthur re-thought his nut roast carving technique' (FlashArry), 'George poses for his profile pic on anglegrindr.com' (Sinnick)

UK illegal immigrant detection system fully operational

Winner: apepper

Runners Up: 'Dignitas experiments with new method in Devon' (Sinnick), 'Are sure they said whale watching, not Wales watching?' (granger), 'Last two people on Earth watch sea-levels rise from Everest hillock' (SteveB)

Peppa Pig creator goes into hiding

Winner: apepper

Runners Up: 'Ella questioned the wisdom of holding the Scottish Beach Volleyball Championships in November' (FlashArry), 'Woman assumed to be missing for 14 years 'simply unable to get hoodie off' (pdavies65)