Discussions Begin on how to Decorate Derek's Torso Cake.

Winner: Lockjaw

Runners-Up:

"Rescinding the 'hung, drawn & quartered' sentence proves problematic." (Granger);

"We’re going to need a smaller stretcher." (DickEveryman)

Master Chef’s Floor Manager and Producer Satisfied That all Traces of Greg Wallace Have Been Removed.

Winner: DickEveryman

Runners-Up:

"Our earrings got tangled up in August '24 and we've been like this ever since." (FlashArry);

"Welcome to this week's episode of Bland Designs." (JimSkinz).

Dunkirk Re-Enactment Slammed for "Several Historical Inaccuracies."

Winner: FlashArry

Runners-Up:

"Sharks demand clearer menu photos." (Sydalg);

"'Our policy on sewage treatment can end the nightmare of overcrowded beaches for ever' announces Southern Water." (Midfield Diamond.)