Chunk of TV licence to be paid direct to Richard Osman

The BBC has announced financial restructuring to allow its top stars to have more ready access to the cream. This will be realised in professional seat sitter Richard Osman being send swathes of the licence fee on direct debit.

'I'm thrilled,' Osman grinned. 'Before this decision, I had to make up a gameshow that paid celebrities appearance fees to play games the public would play for free. Receiving a large amount of public money to turn a profit and banking the goodwill and business connections of all those celebrities took ages.'

'I'll use the money to fund a gameshow where everyone sits at writing desks and the best ideas of each person will be incorporated into my next book,' Osman smirked. "Soon to be adapted by the BBC of course.'

Osman then left the interview saying he had to visit the bank, he couldn't stop laughing.

Tories to tell BBC to reinstate Playschool

Getting political messages out to all age groups became more difficult with the advent of the Interweb, a spokestwat from a Tufty Club think tank told Newsbiscuit. “Fewer people are buying newspapers these days; and political parties are appallingly bad at engaging the electorate on social media, because that relies on two-way conversations, which inevitably end up in tears. What’s needed is a return to good old-fashioned TV messaging. People used to shout at politicians on the telly, but nobody ever heard what they said, so overall, TV messaging was very effective.”

Analysts who have studied viewing habits and demographics in detail for decades, believe the Tory party is missing a trick by ignoring the captive audience that Playschool was intended for – essentially people with little experience of real life, do sod all to contribute, but expect the world to be handed to them on a plate.

“To be frank,” said one, “this year’s Tory conference was largely comprised from bits of old Playschool scripts, so it wouldn’t be like the BBC could get accused of bias.”

Image: Pixabay/pvdberg

BBC ‘inadvertently’ covered Covid Inquiry but took it down immediately

A BBC spokesman has apologised for a news broadcast which “inadvertently” included details of the Covid Inquiry.

‘We recognise that some of the content may be upsetting . . . for the Conservative Party’, he said.

'And we wish to reassure viewers, our Board and our lizard masters that we’ve got the memo and it won’t happen again’.

Image: Pixabay/PublicDomainPictures