- NewsBiscuit
- 1 day ago
The Edinburgh Fringe is happening again, as we speak. If you have a show there, then good luck and break a leg. Later this month the Fringe will announce its top ten jokes.
In the spirit of friendly competition, we are offering up our own ‘Best jokes of Newsbiscuit’. These have been selected by our own entirely biased and largely imaginary editorial committee, and culled from our Headlines. We’d have stuck to ten, but counting isn’t our strongest suit.
The author credits are included in case anyone out there has a big contract that they need signing, but didn’t find what they wanted at the Fringe…
Best jokes of Newsbiscuit 2026*
Anaesthetist cancels dinner party as he has people coming round (Modelmaker)
Another bitterly disappointing Reading Festival, says librarian (dominic_mcg)
Are transparent urns the future? Remains to be seen (Doctor Chutney)
"Call The Midwife" film announcement premature, says BBC (dominic_mcg)
Drought latest: water companies to impose shower cap (deskpilot)
Druids "dreading" moving Stonehenge when clocks go back (apepper)
Girlfriend unimpressed with spa weekend at convenience store (deskpilot)
Grubby teenager misunderstands instruction to wash at 30 (deskpilot)
Knife incident at private school: pupil arrested after using the wrong one for fish (deskpilot)
Onanist stays in bed all day on Palm Sunday (Lockjaw)
Pope tested as neighbour buys devastatingly attractive ox (apepper)
Prince Harry: I'm looking forward to reading my new book (deskpilot)
Prisoner with premature-ejaculation qualifies for Early Release Scheme (jim skinz)
Samaritans not happy with Christmas Jumper day (deskpilot)
Strippers strike: no end in sight (deskpilot)
* probably..., so far....
Image credit: Newsbiscuit archives