Tories Labour Conference hack goes unnoticed

Tory computer nerds thought they had scored a major PR victory over Labour when they hacked the geolocation service ‘What Three Words’. Unfortunately, no-one noticed.

The correct What Three Words location for the Liverpool conference centre is square.jacked.slammed, which is already slightly amusing. The Tory hackers were able to change the descriptors regularly throughout the Labour conference. On the first day, the location was given as last.chance.saloon, which was later amended to starmer.online.healthcare. Other versions included liar.opportunist.grifter, during Keir’s keynote speech, and tax.rises.imminent and your.pension.screwed during Rachel Reeves’ address. The conference closed on overpromise.underdeliver.disappointment.

The nerds failed to convince any journalists that the stunt was worth reporting, so their efforts were both vain and in vain. One veteran reporter said that it was hardly in Ed Davey’s league when it came to stunts.

A spokesman for the Labour Party said that once delegates and journalists had arrived at the conference, they wouldn’t need to use What Three Words to find out where it was. Although she did concede that some delegates might have worried that they were in the wrong place.

Hat tip to deskpilot

Image credit: perchance.org

Addresses stolen in Nursery Land hack

Hackers say they have stolen the pictures, names and addresses of around 8,000 Nursery Land characters including The Master, the Dame and the Little Boy who lives down the lane.

The gang of cyber criminals is using the highly sensitive information, such as 'who sells sea shells on the sea shore', to demand a ransom of golden eggs, silver nutmegs and bags of wool.

The criminals say they also have information about the construction of many of the buildings including houses built of straw, stick, bricks and, in one case, gingerbread and sweets.

Newsbiscuit has contacted Old King Cole for comment, but has not had a response.

Cyber-security expert Little Boy Blue described the targeting as 'an absolute new low' and immediately blew on his horn to warn others..

Another expert, Jack Horner, suggested people should: 'Sit in the corner' for safety

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary said her family had received an email from the hackers, who told them they knew exactly how her garden grew.

'It was all very professional and well-written, no spelling mistakes or anything like that,' she said.

The hacking group responsible for the claims appears to be relatively new. It is believe to be from the Hamlin area of Germany, and calls itself 'The Pied Piper'.

Image: WixAI

Recent Jaguar advert featuring no cars at all was strangely prescient

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