The estate agent handling the sale said: 'It's quite a niche market, most buyers don't need that many dungeons. It would certainly work as an evil lair, as you could easily convert the 'pleasure pit' into a shark tank.
'We did have some interest from a Royal buyer, but he was £12m short. Bill Clinton and Bill Gates both made inquiries, but that was to make sure they had left no fingerprints.
'It's got fascinating history and an even more interesting FBI file. But we do advise the new owner not to use uv lighting in 90% of the rooms'.
First published 24 Mar 2022
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Updated: Nov 2, 2025
Nothing could hide the government's embarrassment, when they discovered they had less houses then when they started. The Minister explained. "Once we'd factored in all the repossessions and accidently demolishing a few, it turns out were missing around 100,000 – it's possible they might have ended up as landfill.
"Coupled with the PM's houses being set on fire by Ukrainian male escorts – all whom Sir Keir has no knowledge of whatsoever, I cannot emphasize that enough. Once those young lads had finished their random acts of unmotivated arson, well, that was at least two more gone.
"And who knows where they might strike again? Seriously, if we burn down every home belonging to a Cabinet Minister who'd had a bit of hanky panky or had housed Prince Andrew and Jeffery Epstein – well we'd all be homeless."
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