Ancient Greek author Homer has released his first epic for 3,000 years, called the Trumpyssey.
The story, written in the author's signature dactylic hexameter, tells of how King Trump is lured into the Persian Gulf by the Sirens of Likud along with his ship of fools - Vance, Hegseth, Witkoff, and all the deranged hayseeds who attended his rallies.
Trump then spends years trying and failing to extricate them all through the Strait of Hormuz.
Every day, he claims he is 'very close' to a deal with the Persians which will get him out of the situation into which he moronically pitched himself . But he is trapped between a rock and a hard place: the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps and his own monstrous ego - meaning that he manages only to go round and round in circles for years.
Finally, King Trump's crew mutiny and make him walk the plank - ie. his gormless son-in-law Jared Kushner.
Watch out for a Cameo appearance from King Trump's vile acolyte Nigel Farage, the mythical One-Eyed Trouser Snake of Clacton.
An apology: When this story was first published, we incorrectly said that Homer wrote in iambic pentameter, a writing style more usually associated with William Shakespeare. Homer, of course, usually wrote in dactylic hexameter. We are happy to set the record straight and apologise for the error, a lapse from the high standards to which we aspire.
Image credit: chatGPT
