Official auditors for the Tommy Robinson march on Saturday, accountants Yaxley, Lennon and McCartney have confirmed the numbers and claim the higher than expected turnout is due to immigrants, particularly those arriving on small boats.
Border Control confirms the increase in irregular migrants arriving in the past week. 'They've been making a bee-line for London, claiming they're here just for Tommeh. They're no trouble, just enjoying the vibe,' said a spokesman. 'I expect they'll be leaving later in the week with their London souvenirs and St George flags. They like to take them back to Syria as George was a local, wasn't he?' he added.
hat tip to TechGuy
Police forces across the UK were reporting the quietest Saturday afternoon in recent years today. Football matches passed off without any incidents, and violence and road rage was at an all time low.
"It's a mystery" said DI Dixon of Lutonshire Constabulary. "Normally we have our hands full of drunken yobs on Saturday afternoon, but today, nada. It's lovely."
However, we cannot be sure this was the story across the entire UK, as the London Metropolitan police did not answer our calls, with a recorded message describing them as "exceptionally busy right now".