top of page
Search
The British public has agreed to make the ultimate sacrifice, by reenacting the Charge of the Light Brigade, but this time with masks and appropriate social distancing. Saving the PM from his own PR, every man, woman and child will valiantly lay down their lives, so Boris can lie about his lays.
By deflecting attention from the parties and infidelities, we will march on Moscow or all die in a futile gesture - whatever plays better in The Daily Mail. Commenting on this dead cat/bear, one General remarked: 'Into the valley of Death, rode the six hundred. Obviously six hundred is a lot but technically this is a work event'.
According to the UN, Russian troops have pulled out from the border with Ukraine following Liz Truss’ threat to deploy the ultimate deterrent – herself.
Russian President and sometime bare-chested taxi driver Vladimir Putin said she was violating international treaties and codes of conduct. After quaking in his boots for thirty seconds, he made a statement: ‘The reckless actions of ‘The Truss’ were those of a deranged madman, much like myself. I thought Johnson was the worlds worse foreign secretary, what with trying to start a war with me over my world cup and saying I was like Hitler.
This crazy woman is talking about banning the import of our world-famous Baboushka dolls, which account for over 91% of our economy. Imagine having her living next door?
The only way we can counter such a terrifying threat is to hope that our glorious revolutionary inter-continental self–aggrandising missiles will shut her the fuck up.’
bottom of page