Starmer most hated PM? Hold my pint, says Streeting

Rumours of a leadership bid, have been triggered by Starmer being less popular than Prince Andrew at a Nativity Play. Wes Streeting is touted as a natural replacement as someone we can universally despise. He has all the charm of a puff adder and the ethics of...well...a puff adder.

Embarrassingly Starmer chose to quell rumours of a challenge, by announcing rumours of a challenge using a megaphone. The first example of a political career accessing assisted suicide.

Streeting did the media rounds with popular ideas - a new series of Mrs Brown's Boys, talking during movies and bringing back Windows Vista. He boasted if he became PM slow WiFi would be standard and the word "literally" would be literally misused literally every day. Literally.

Image: kirill_makes_pics - Pixabay

Oh, NOW the BBC are biased?

With the resignation of the Director General, many viewers have been left asking - why did it take so long? Said one viewer 'If BBC bias didn't exist, how do you explain the coverage of Gaza or - even worse - the laughter track on Mrs. Brown's Boys?'

'If the BBC weren't peddling propaganda how do explain the obsession with Nigel Farage and that Man Utd always feature in Match of the Day?'

Finally the Beeb has been forced to apologise for depicting Trump as a fascist, which he was fully capable of doing all by himself. They let editorial standards change- they just didn't say in which direction. And they promised never to get caught faking the news again, the key word being 'caught'.

Image: Newsbiscuit Archive

Police refuse to arrest unfunny comedians

Graham Linehan's arrest has highlighted an hypocrisy, whereby the writer of Father Ted could be jailed but the creators of Mrs Brown's Boys roams free. No attempt has been made to arrest Jim Davidson or to end the reign of terror that is Netflix Comedy Specials.

Being a grumpy, hateful middle-aged man is what all comedians become - even the women. Lineham is just a Poundland John Cleese, furious that his best jokes are behind him and struggling to keep up the alimony payments.

Under current laws, Lineham stands accused of spreading hateful words - but the real crime is not writing anything good since the 90s.

Image credit: perchance.org