PM to 'unleash AI' as soon as someone explains it to him

An excited Starmer insisted that he had a secret plan to stimulate growth, so secret that the details of it still eluded him. His spokeswoman explained: 'All AI images have six fingers. Thi of it, six fingers! That's a 20% increase in fingers, right there.'

'AI can paraphrase an inaccurate Wikipedia page in seconds, saving you hours of plagiarism and fake claims. All lying will be 100% quicker and than fact checked by AI.

She continued in a celebratory mood : 'This will generate 13,000 new jobs, by helping cut 100,000 old jobs...what? Hold on, that can't be right? 13 minus 100 is...no, no, no....that would be a disaster. Can someone get me a calculator or move a few zeroes around?'

image from pixabay

Kier: 3 am

Musk is getting too much attention, says man who won’t shut up about him

Keir Starmer has sensibly decided to take the bait, marked ‘bait’, clearly lowered on a big fishing rod by Baity McBaitface. This is a new version of the Streisand Effect, is where Starmer inadvertently amplifies a topic he wants to be quietened – reaching a point where Barbara Streisand is forced to tell him to STFU. Sadly, Elon Musk has successfully trolled the PM and provoked him into devoting an entire press conference as to why Elon was mean to him and made him cry.

The old adage ‘Never Argue with a Man Who Buys Ink by the Barrel’ also applies to billionaires who own Twitter. The BBC helpfully ran it thousandth story this week, about how Musk should be stopped from dominating the media. An aide declared: ‘The Prime Minister is now going to schedule a rebuttal for every time someone on the Internet says something bad about him. Expect his next Press conference to take 200 hours to complete.’

Picture credit: Wix AI