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The right wing of the Tory party is arguing about the next "big idea" for the country. Jacob Rees-Mogg has proposed raising the retirement age to 97, legalising work for the under 3s and reopening coal mines, "not for the coal, but for the LOLZ".
Lord Frost disagrees with Mogg's idea. "It's been claimed that my last wheeze is costing the country £100bn a year, but I think we can do better than that. If we make retirement age below the school leaving age, then the entire country grinds to a halt in a year and I think we can make that per week. Now, that would be an achievement."
John Redwood has proposed a zero rate income tax combined with a maximum wage "for plebs" of £0 per hour, with a 10% bonus for weekends.
image from pixabay
Michael Gove, aka Mickey G, has promised that the Tories will build 300,000 affordable new homes in the UK, but forgot to specify that they will only be affordable to Tory voters. Additionally, these new builds will not go where they are needed but will instead be built in marginal constituencies up and down the country.
Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said 'Liz Truss was supposed to phone us with all the details about this, but we've had to kybosh that for a number of reasons that keeps on growing. Instead, Suella Braverman is emailing through a confidential list, via her personal gmail for some reason. Maybe she fancied another week off work.'
image from pixabay
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