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All work and no pension makes Therese a dull girl

Work and Pensions Secretary Therese Coffey has unwittingly revealed a strikingly socialist agenda, following her intentionally bungled comment that 2 hours extra work cancels out the impending £20-a-week Universal Credit cut.

With just a nod, Coffey implicitly confirmed that the minimum wage will increase from £8.91/hour to £10/hour. Additionally those on minimum wage will pay zero tax (intriguing Jeff Bezos), pay zero National Insurance (intriguing Rishi Sunak), make zero pension contributions (intriguing herself) and pay zero childcare costs (intriguing Boris Johnson many times over).

Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said: ‘Why don’t people on Universal Credit just get a second job on the board of a FTSE-100 company? My uncle says they usually pay hundreds of thousands a year for a few hours work. It’s all done via the Caymans, so tax is at Amazonian levels. I blame the lazy working poor, or maybe the EU somehow?’

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