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Aristocrats all want COVID now the Queen has it



Just like they did before with Scottish country estates and vicious little dogs, the Royals have set off another aristocratic fashion craze - catching COVID.

"Frankly, I'd always thought it was a bit of a pleb's ailment," said Lutetia Arling-Gobeaton, 37th Duchess of Hemel Hempstead. "All those dreary urbanites are falling like ninepins, you know. But now that Lizzie has shown the way, it's de rigueur to come down with - cough cough - I say, do you have a lateral flow test kit I could borrow?"

It's understood that the elite social calendar is being rapidly restructured to maximise infection opportunities, with several fox hunts now holding their meets in nursing homes. However, some are sounding a note of caution, as it's thought that the novelty appeal of the coronavirus could "quickly wear orf" should the Queen actually die from it.

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