The Doctor said this would happen if you masturbated

WINNER

The Doctor said this would happen if you masturbated by Sinnick

RUNNERS UP

Well I'm just glad you have finally agreed to do something about not having his umbilical cord cut in the first place. by daveha

I told you all the doctors here are nothing but clowns ... by RobFalconer

In the year 2038, people got fed up with smartphones, and played with balloons instead by Sinnick

THIS is why you shouldn't swallow bubble gum. by daveha

Is he taking the piss , he knows I'm in for a Hernia ? by Tomymc

Don't worry Mrs Sanderson, I may have only just qualified but we've practised the procedure hundreds of times before with balloons. by gichowdotcom

Thinking: 'If only your father had used one of those condoms instead of giving them all to you, I wouldn't be in this state.' by Wally Dug

I know you are happy to be pregnant but

listen to the lad-if he says he has created uranium 235 out of balloons then you should at least give it a look. by writinginbsl