Winner: apepper
Runners Up: 'Foolish guy 'man-splains' circumcision with a knife in his hand' (Ian Searle), 'Fancy a takeaway later 'cos I'll be starving after eating this sh*t' (Doctor Chutney), 'That's a perfect profile picture - our vegan friends will never know that we're roasting roadkill in the oven' (deskpilot3)
When MasterChef got boring the heat was finally shared in the kitchen.
Learning to cook dramatically increases chances of sex, claims virgin.
Then we just add two teaspoons of lube...
" Dont worry darling. It's an old finger I hardly ever use "
Prozac makes zucchini very enjoyable.