Simon's grin froze as he realised he had misread the group flyer about adventures on the towpath

Winner: FlashArry

Runners Up: 'Don't tell anyone but there's a quadruple vodka in this, Gavin Williamson's top aide admits after a tough week' (jimskinz), 'Unbelievable but drinking this canal water keeps your teeth white and puts a sparkle in your eyes!' (Not titus)