Harrison Ford to appear in new abseiling movie: 'Clear and Present Dangler'. And others...

After being spotted on location last week in North East England, NewsBiscuit can exclusively reveal that A List Actor, Harrison Ford is also involved in a number of other reworkings of his classic movies:


An archaeologist no longer able to deliver lectures in person: 'Indiana Jones and the Temple, on Zoom'


A secretary from Surrey stands in for boss who has broken his leg in an abseiling accident: 'Woking Girl'.


A homicide Cop unable to pickup clues, despite them being blatantly obvious: 'Witless'


A dermatological movie of the famous: 'Star Warts'


Politically correct updates of classic Ford films: 'American Urban Expression Art', 'Indiana Jones and the Last Religious Pilgrimage', 'Indiana Jones and the Sacred Place of Doom'


Trump's disastrous Presidency told from the perspective of his stylist: 'Hair Farce One'


The fight to stop the only remaining gunboat gazebo from blowing away: 'Indiana Jones and The Lashed Crew Shade'


A Russian carpenter recruited to fit observation screens in submarines: 'K-19: The Windowmaker'


Replicant dies just 11 minutes before the 9 O'clock watershed: 'Blade Runner 20:49'


A man and his family forced to flee the apocalypse on a raft made of entomologically themed place mats: 'Mosquito Coasters'.


Expert but direct kissing lessons: Pucker lips now.


A thriller chiller sequel movie about a back garden voyeur: 'The Return of The Shed Eye'


A revamp of Irish twins' singing career: 'Return of the Jedward'


Observations of closet vacuum cleaners - 'Regarding Henry Hoovers'


A horror film about that weirdo who sleeps in the bottom bunk - 'What Lies Beneath'


An extremely generous bartender: 'Extraordinary Measures'

Al Opecia, SteveB, Sinnick, Lockjaw54, Max Stars

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