Harrison Ford to appear in new abseiling movie: 'Clear and Present Dangler'. And others...

After being spotted on location last week in North East England, NewsBiscuit can exclusively reveal that A List Actor, Harrison Ford is also involved in a number of other reworkings of his classic movies:

An archaeologist no longer able to deliver lectures in person: 'Indiana Jones and the Temple, on Zoom'

A secretary from Surrey stands in for boss who has broken his leg in an abseiling accident: 'Woking Girl'.

A homicide Cop unable to pickup clues, despite them being blatantly obvious: 'Witless'

A dermatological movie of the famous: 'Star Warts'

Politically correct updates of classic Ford films: 'American Urban Expression Art', 'Indiana Jones and the Last Religious Pilgrimage', 'Indiana Jones and the Sacred Place of Doom'

Trump's disastrous Presidency told from the perspective of his stylist: 'Hair Farce One'

The fight to stop the only remaining gunboat gazebo from blowing away: 'Indiana Jones and The Lashed Crew Shade'

A Russian carpenter recruited to fit observation screens in submarines: 'K-19: The Windowmaker'

Replicant dies just 11 minutes before the 9 O'clock watershed: 'Blade Runner 20:49'

A man and his family forced to flee the apocalypse on a raft made of entomologically themed place mats: 'Mosquito Coasters'.

Expert but direct kissing lessons: Pucker lips now.

A thriller chiller sequel movie about a back garden voyeur: 'The Return of The Shed Eye'

A revamp of Irish twins' singing career: 'Return of the Jedward'

Observations of closet vacuum cleaners - 'Regarding Henry Hoovers'

A horror film about that weirdo who sleeps in the bottom bunk - 'What Lies Beneath'

An extremely generous bartender: 'Extraordinary Measures'

Al Opecia, SteveB, Sinnick, Lockjaw54, Max Stars