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  • Writer's pictureClare

Ian Blackford quits SNP role for Dancing on Ice

Ian Blackford is getting his skates on, figuratively and figure-skatingly joining the cast of Dancing on Ice 2023.

Blackford will don a sparkly tartan unitard and is already mentally gearing up for a juicy affair with his skating partner.

Similar to the Strictly curse, Dancing on Ice suffers the lycra curse.

An ex-figure skater from the show, who wanted to remain anonymous, said: 'Everyone’s outfits are just extremely tight and it leaves nothing to the imagination. Especially when you’re mid-lift and someone’s hand slips off the lycra and goes up your ass. Before you know it you’ve been accidentally fisted in Week 1.

'Pretty much everyone is bonking backstage, resembling some kind of human lycrapede, partly due to boredom and partly to keep warm. The show should be renamed ‘freezing your bits off on ice'.'

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