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Jeremy Corbyn enters Labour race in an alternate Universe

Science fiction and socialism fans alike, have been delighted to discover that in a hypothetical self-contained reality there exists an actual left-wing candidate. In this parallel universe there is compassion, collective responsibility and where we are ruled by a race of four-foot high, furry, purple bipeds all named ‘Michael Foot’.

Obviously in the real world no such left-winger could survive on an oxygen-rich planet, where water and Daily Mail bile cover 70% of the Earth’s surface. However, scientists have speculated that if such an alternate Universe existed, then the ‘Corbyn-effect’ would generate enough hope to be seen twinkling in a nearby galaxies. As opposed to a Black Hole, which sucks surrounding life into a dwindling vortex of despair – much like Ed Miliband.

One Labour member explained: ‘I’ve tried to explain to my children that it’s like the tooth fairy, an equitable tax system or a 70’s light entertainer who can keep their hands to themselves. A lovely idea. But with no scientific evidence to support it or people to vote for it’.

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