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Writer's pictureWrenfoe

Man angry about gender neutral toy he is 50 years too old to play with

Said Derek Grimes: ‘I don't care if that's what kids want, what about me? What about my needs? You don't think I buy a children's toy, in order to let them play with it? F$ck happiness, I want every child to experience my childhood - which was great, by the way, and is why I still wet the bed.


‘What’s wrong with the lead-coated, asbestos ridden toys of my youth? I had 'Howdy Dan' the genocidal cowboy. There were my colonialist toy soldiers. Or my penknife and everyone loves kids with knives, right?


‘I'd dress up as a minstrel to entertain my family, while holding fireworks. We didn't need cycle helmets or swimming lessons, near death experiences were part of growing up



‘And my sister had a ball of string to play with. That was all hers…except when the cat was using it.’


image pixabay/OpenClipart-Vectors



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