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PM returns from S7 meeting with a dose of the clap‏

A sheepish Prime Minister has returned to Downing Street, with a bad case of sunstroke, saying: 'What goes on at G7 meetings, stays at G7 meetings'. Unfortunately, after a night of quaffing cheap ouzo with the other leaders, all he had to show for the summit. is a condiment donkey, a henna tattoo and a ‘mysterious rash’.

A spokeswoman denied that the Prime Minister had been caught, in the early hours, brawling in the streets with the German Chancellor. However, the spokeswoman admitted: ‘The image of the Brit abroad has not been helped by the PM refusing to speak the language and insisting on chips with every meal. Next year, he’ll stick to backpacking around the Lake District with his mum’.

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