Said the CEO: 'The biggest growth areas in the UK are hunger and poverty, we’d be silly not to invest in them. There are potentially half a million new customers who regularly use Food Banks. Once they have signed up to RBS, I can see no reason why we cannot get them to save with our high yield accounts and purchase from our range of mortgages.'
Customers will be able to log in to the nearest stockpile of unwanted canned goods, and download the appropriate food stamp. ‘If you are hungry for investment, I’d also advise you to buy shares in our ‘Destitution™’.'