top of page

You can return to the office- you just won't have the petrol to get home

Reports suggest that fuel shortages are part of a wider strategy to ensure the UK's workers remain at their desks. Other policies to ensure you stay at work include hiding your shoes, locking all the doors and putting superglue on your keyboard.


A government spokeswoman confirmed: ‘Petrol rationing will allow you to get into the office, but no further. Once you’ve arrived, large elastic bands will be tied to the back of your vehicle. Your tires will be let down. And we’ll be hurling your car keys into a nearby canal.’


To stop workers demanding flexible working hours, the government is bringing in inflexible travel conditions: ‘Ever wondered why offices have their lights on at night, it’s to fool you into thinking it’s still daytime. A shortage of petrol? After sleeping in office for a week, I’d be more worried about a shortage of socks’.


13 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Clacton relieved Farage is going to Trump's aid

Despite having one of the highest crime rates in the UK, more unemployment than most constituencies, longer waiting lists for the NHS than practically anywhere the good people of Clacton have responde

Radical re-financing plan for Thames Water

Thames Water is saddled with billions in debt and shareholders will not provide any more cash for the deeply challenged company. Upgrading water pipes, stopping leaks, and preventing sewage spills wil

Comments


bottom of page