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Trump to bomb North Korea with hairspray
In a late-night tweet, and in an attempt to placate diplomats following his aggressive UN address, [read...]
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‘Trump ripped-off my hairstyle’ claims Flock of Seagulls frontman
Donald Trump’s hairdo has provoked a sensational and scathing attack from, Mike Score, frontman of 80s techno-pop band, [read...]
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‘I am in the driving seat’, says woman who keeps doing u-turns
Theresa May confirmed her continuing commitment to driving metaphors today, announcing that she had taken decisive action on Brexit by ‘tying up and gagging that naughty overgrown schoolboy Boris Johnson and stuffing him in the boot of my car’. [read...]
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Gender fluid football threatened by gender fluid found in shower
Gender Fluid United is the first football team to feature players whose gender identity is undecided and can change from day today. But its existence could be under threat after as-yet unidentified gender fluid was found in one of the club’s multisex showers. [read...]
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Harry Redknapp joins Brexit negotiating team for £350 million a week
Former football manager Harry Redknapp has landed a lucrative contract to help with negotiating the terms for Britain’s exit from the EU, said to be worth £350 million per week. As if to underline Lib Dem leader Vince Cable’s assertion that he is too dim even for a children’s lego set, [read...]
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Kim Jong-Un outraged at latest UN’s Garden Gnome sanctions
North Korean leader, Kim Jong-Un is said to be outraged at the latest round of UN sanctions which includes a complete ban on the import of garden gnomes, requested by US President Donald Trump in New York today. [read...]
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Ryanair to Charge Passengers Extra Fee to Get a Plane
Ryanair has come up with another clever way of making more money by deciding to charge passengers an extra fee for those who want to travel on an actual aircraft. After purchasing their tickets passengers will be given the option of a plane or no plane. [read...]
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Planes now refusing to fly over ‘Flyover States’
Political uncertainty in America following the chaos brought about by the Trump presidency is now being compounded by transport issues, it has emerged. The US’s fleet of some 2,000 passenger planes have developed consciousness and their first act has been to vote unanimously that if their owners want them to ferry people between the East… [read...]