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Electorate would vote for ‘sh$t on a stick’ if it wears a blue rosette
Britain’s new ‘Sheepocracy’ has responded favorably to the Conservative manifesto pledge to inflict ‘strong and stable’ servitude. [read...]
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Question Time audience spend International Aid budget for 127th consecutive show
The audience in BBC’s Question Time have suggested spending the £12bn International Aid Budget on ‘anything else, [read...]
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Farron loses Drug Dealers vote
One street dealer Bazzo 18, from Manchester, spoke of his concern about legalizing cannabis: ‘Is like not on man, [read...]
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Actress turning 40, coincidentally realises Hollywood’s obsession with youth and beauty ‘is wrong’
An actress whose name nobody can quite remember has chosen the occasion of her 40th birthday to hit out at an industry she claims is obsessed with youth and beauty, adding that she should know as she’s been relying on it for years. [read...]
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Inaccurate weather forecast was catastrophic for dinosaurs
A BBC documentary has unearthed new evidence indicating that a glib comment by weatherman Michael Fish 66 million years ago may have contributed to the extinction of dinosaurs. [read...]
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Tories to put the ‘C’ back into ‘Das kapital’
Comrade May has pledged to: ‘secure for the workers by hand or by brain the full fruits of their industry upon the basis of common ownership of the means of production, distribution and exchange’, plus a small condo Novosibirsk. [read...]
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May accidentally meets voter…and truth
The general election campaign took an unexpected turn today, when to her horror Theresa May came face to face with an ordinary voter, during an unscheduled stop at a motorway services. Although May has probably never been in contact with a member of the public before, [read...]
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May promises workers’ rights and a ‘unicorn for all’
In vowing to protect and extend workers’ rights, the Prime Minister Theresa May has said her Government promises all workers a unicorn and a free helicopter after three years in the same job. As well as a statutory year of leave to care for a relative, [read...]