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Starmer backs Rachael Blackmore to win last week’s Grand National
Responding to public opinion and focus groups, the Labour leader Kier Starmer has thrown his support behind racehorse Minella Times. [read...]
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People can think about booking holidays, but don’t go any further says government
In a carefully worded communication, the government has provided explicit and unambiguous permission to UK residents to start thinking about booking holidays. [read...]
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Confirming postcode when sharing missing dog post is pointless, say experts
Indicating the broad area you live in when you share a Facebook post about a missing dog on Facebook serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever, [read...]
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Nation mourns loss of TV scheduling
As 24/7 courage of the death of Prince Philip hits our screens, thousands of people lined the streets because there was nothing better on TV. Tears were shed as gameshows and crime dramas were cancelled, [read...]
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David Icke Claims 99 Year Old Prince Was Bumped Off For Knowing Too Much
Dave Icke, the former goal-keeper turned conspiracy theorist and head cheerleader for all things insane, made the following claim via his blog in the early hours of this morning. ‘As a leading figure and patriarch of the British royal family for 73 years he would have acquired a vast wealth of insider knowledge, [read...]
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Queen sells up and moves to Ibiza
Following the death of her husband, Elizabeth Windsor is set to move out of the family homes and head for a life in the sun. “One has always wanted to chillax Balearic-stylee” said the nonagenarian, [read...]
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Bitcoin electricity usage caused by leaving the ‘big light’ on
Data miners of Bitcoin are said to use more electricity than entire nations, but new evidence suggests it is all because they left their TV on standby overnight. The extraordinary carbon footprint of digital currency could easily have been avoided, [read...]
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“We are going to have to learn to live with the Conservative Party,” says Whitty
Speaking at the latest government Coronavirus press briefing, public health supremo Professor Chis Whitty warned that society would have to come to terms with the Tory Party, as it will be with us for many years to come. [read...]