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Amazon ‘concerned about scam email messages from HMRC’
Amazon has warned its customers to be ‘vigilant’ against scam emails. ‘Just because it says Amazon in the heading, [read...]
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Windsor man admits ‘brandished beheading sword’ but didn’t think he was involved
A 69 year old Windsor man has admitted waving an executioners sword in the air but insists he did not behead anyone. [read...]
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Government to set limits on size of hen party inflatable penises
In response to demands from a concerned public, the Cabinet is taking action to restrict hen party penises to a length of four feet and a girth of 14 inches. [read...]
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Dad in stable condition after asking for ‘boot cut’ fit jeans in River Island
A Daventry dad was expected to make a full recovery, after being laughed out of River Island for asking if they had any jeans in a ‘more generous cut’, it was revealed today. 45 year old dad of 3, [read...]
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‘No I don’t want a flyer for your f**king improv show’ confirms Edinburgh man
Edinburgh resident John Brook has advised members of a comedy improv troupe that he has no intention of going to see their ‘hour-long anarchic improvised romp’ and therefore has no use for one of their flyers. [read...]
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Court finds Ben Stokes to be rather good at cricket
Cricketer Ben Stokes is a rather good player, and therefore had better stay out of prison if England ever wants to win this Summer’s test series. Sentiments which seemed to chime with Trial Judge, Mr Justice Auld-Duffer, [read...]
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Bono grants an audience to Pope Francis during upcoming Irish visit
Ireland’s most saintly man, U2 lead-singer Bono, has announced that he has granted Pope Francis an audience with him later this year. It’s understood that the historic meeting will take place in Dublin next month when His Holiness visits Ireland, [read...]
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Man who crashed stolen plane appointed head of Brexit strategy
A man who closed a Seattle airport by stealing a plane, which he later crashed, has been appointed as the new head of Brexit strategy due to his ‘forward thinking approach’. The unnamed airline employee made an ‘unauthorised takeoff’ [read...]