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Britain disappointed with third place in ‘Most Embarrassing Country Contest’
Members of Britain’s Most Embarrassing Country Contest team have expressed their disappointment at only coming third, [read...]
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May’s ‘exit strategy for car’ proves to be flawed
Prime Minister Theresa May today ran into trouble with the process of exiting her car, [read...]
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Brexit solved as EU renames itself ‘European Community’
In a last minute fevered negotiations the entire Brexit debate has been resolved. The EU has renamed itself “The European Community”, [read...]
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David Dimbleby to Regenerate as Fiona Bruce
Fans of Question Time on BBC are looking forward to the highly anticipated regeneration scene this festive period. David Dimbleby announced he was leaving the show earlier this year prompting rumours that “The Chairman” would become a female for the first time in the programme’s history. [read...]
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Crossrail delayed because ‘stations really far apart’, CEO explains
Crossrail CEO Mark Wild has explained that the extra time and money needed to complete the project is due to the fact that the stations are much further apart than he realised. ‘I can only say that I was given poor information at the outset,’ [read...]
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Divorce Proceedings stall after Local solicitor refuses to disclose full extent of advice
Fred Cummins is facing the most difficult week of his very public divorce this week. Two years ago, Fred took the unusual step to announce his intention to finish his marriage by means of a public vote instead of using the courts. [read...]
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Rees-Mogg to bring ‘a touch of Christmas cheer’ to soup kitchens
The Right Honourable Member of Parliament for The Dark Ages, Jacob Rees-Mogg, who has been rather quiet since his recent ill-conceived and failed efforts to topple Theresa May, is back again in the limelight to promote a Christmas pop-up dining opportunity in an attempt to give soup kitchens a more seasonal feel. [read...]
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Nightclub doorman admits to having top-knot
Jamie Collins – a 34 year old father of three – told Gateshead Magistrate Court that he usually wears his hair long when at work but on the night in question had forgotten all about it. [read...]