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2019 season of The Trumps in doubt after laptop theft
Broadcaster HBO is offering a $500,000 reward for the safe return of a stolen laptop containing scripts for the 2019 season of popular comedy soap /reality drama, [read...]
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‘Reduced economies are easier to take back control of’, says Hammond
The Chancellor has come out in support of Theresa May’s Brexit plan with an economic forecast that suggests the economy will only be a ‘bit smaller’ [read...]
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You’re paid less because you’re sh$t at your job
A landmark study has revealed that the wage gap you are experiencing, is simply down to you being worse than your work colleagues. [read...]
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Rees-Mogg to bring ‘a touch of Christmas cheer’ to soup kitchens
The Right Honourable Member of Parliament for The Dark Ages, Jacob Rees-Mogg, who has been rather quiet since his recent ill-conceived and failed efforts to topple Theresa May, is back again in the limelight to promote a Christmas pop-up dining opportunity in an attempt to give soup kitchens a more seasonal feel. [read...]
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Nightclub doorman admits to having top-knot
Jamie Collins – a 34 year old father of three – told Gateshead Magistrate Court that he usually wears his hair long when at work but on the night in question had forgotten all about it. [read...]
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Elf on the Shelf f$cked your cat
What started as a cute Christmas tradition documenting the nocturnal shenanigans of a festive Imp, has now spiralled into debauchery, missing underwear and one decapitated garden gnome. To make matters worse, the elf has now been caught in flagrante delicto – balls-deep in ‘Missy’ the cat. [read...]
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Temporary Brexit truce to be celebrated with football match on Christmas Day
There is to be a one day ceasefire in the ongoing Brexit war on 25th December, to allow for a festive game of football between Brexiteers and Remainians. Both sides are expected to climb out of their deeply entrenched positions, [read...]
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MP shoots dog in foot then takes dog to vet
Tosh Ronson, MP, who shot a stray dog has been slated for posing for pictures as he watched the vet perform life-saving surgery on the animals leg. Mr. Ronson – along with three other Tory MPs who also shot dogs and then subsequently took them to the vet – [read...]