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Anyone who says they ‘respect the public vote’ probably doesn’t
Respecting the outcome of a referendum is starting to sound a lot like respecting the sanctity of marriage – more of a guideline than actual rule. [read...]
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No one notices BBC Sport website carrying same report of every Liverpool match
Red-faced BBC Sport executives have admitted that a computer glitch resulted in their website carrying the same report of every Liverpool match, [read...]
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Piers Morgan hospitalised after choking on own bile
Piers Morgan has been hospitalised after almost drowning in his own bile due to a stunt involving a Greggs’ [read...]
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Brexit latest: Military drafted in to fight something or somebody as yet unknown
As may as ten thousand servicemen will be placed on alert on Brexit day, just in case it gets fighty. Brigadier A. Lethbridge-Smythe told a news conference his men and women would be ready to fight any adversary, [read...]
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Crematoria prepare contingency plans as elderly are ‘sick to death’ of Brexit
Crematoria throughout the UK are preparing contingency plans to cope with an expected increased body count in the event of the UK delaying its exit from the EU beyond 29 March. [read...]
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Coogan and Reilly ‘astounding’ as Rees-Mogg and Johnson
Critics have hailed the new biopic of Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg as ‘an artistic triumph’. ‘Boz and Moggy’ stars John C. Reilly as Boris and Steve Coogan as Jacob. The two are said to have put an incredibly amount of work into making the characters come to life on the big screen. [read...]
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MPs agree all-party collaboration to destroy British Politics
Declaring British politics to be in a near vegetative state, with the Prime Minister pretending there’s an alternative to turning off the life support machines and promising that the patient will on Tuesday arise from its bed and vote Conservative again, [read...]
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Passengers vote to jump from working aircraft mid-flight, then … oh details, details
A 52 to 48 majority of passengers on board a flightworthy aircraft have voted to turn the controls off, but cannot yet agree what they want to happen after. The vote was won because some passengers felt left behind, [read...]