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Breakthrough in Brexit talks will see EU retain access to DFS sale
An important breakthrough has been made in ongoing post-Brexit trade negotiations that will see the EU retain access to the DFS sale after Britain leaves. [read...]
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Saudis host G20 Zoom Quiz
During the virtual G20 Summit, following an intense session on Global Warming, Saudi Arabia hosted an online quiz in an effort to break the ice. [read...]
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Psychics and mediums face unexpected gridlock of voices from beyond.
With an unanticipated high Covid death toll and the closure of entertainment venues, psychics and mediums are facing a backlog of afterlife callers wanting to contact their loved ones with generic messages of very little significance. [read...]
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Being bullied by Priti Patel tops Tory fetish list
Found guilty of breaching the Ministerial Code for bullying, no further action will be taken against Priti Patel – other than a request from the PM’s Office for photos. Rather than seen as a problem, [read...]
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2022 Platinum Bank Holiday “Is contingent on the Queen surviving until then.”
Government sources have confirmed that the extra Bank Holiday in 2022, to celebrate Queen Elizabeth’s 70 years on the throne, can only go ahead if the Monarch is still breathing at the time. “She could be gaga or comatose but must definitely have a pulse. [read...]
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Home Office to free all the criminals who ‘didn’t mean it’
Home Secretary Priti Patel has explained the latest concept in criminal justice, ‘Unintentionality’. According to the theory a person who did something bad but ‘didn’t mean any harm’ should be forgiven, especially if they’re a member of Cabinet. [read...]
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Trump Labs announce game-changing Bigly vaccine
After Pfizer and some other disreputable ISIS run Biotech Vaxx killer corporation announced their useless vaccines, the world-renowned Trump Labs have blown them both out the water. CEO Trump says the other vaccines aren’t even ready yet, [read...]
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Smart motorway sign takes over at Track and Trace
In the wake of news that the boss of Track and Trace, Dido Harding, has been ordered by her own app to ‘self-isolate’, comes the reassurance that the program central to regulating coronavirus transmission will now be run by a matrix sign on the M62, [read...]