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National Milkshake Association sends ‘thoughts and prayers’ to Farage
The National Milkshake Association (NMA) has tonight sent its ‘thoughts and prayers’ to the Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage after today’s banana and salted caramel incident. [read...]
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Game of Thrones finale ‘ruined’ by Brexit fudge
Fans of the long running saga promising to showcase the dangers and opportunities of dealing with dragons and fire breathing individuals, [read...]
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Boris Johnson confirms his hand puppet will run for Tory Leadership
Boris Johnson, the prominent Brexit campaigner and professional bumbling toff has confirmed at a press conference today that his glove Puppet Bojo will participate in the Tory Leadership elections with a view to becoming Prime Minister. [read...]
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Chelsea Flower Show judges divided over Brexit themed garden entry
After nearly three years in the making the Brexit garden, designed in collaboration with experts, renowned designers and votes from the general public is causing a major rift among Royal Horticultural Society judges. Entitled ‘Pull up the Ramparts’ the installation features a crumbling castle representing an English man’s home, [read...]
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Brexit: PM prepares to ‘scour all fonts’ to get support for deal
Following on from Theresa May’s “new and improved” Brexit deal number 10 have confirmed that should this “bold offer” fail, a series of alternative fonts will be exploited to try to secure the necessary parliamentary agreement. [read...]
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Jeremy Kyle to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
ITV are under pressure to bring the tabloid talk-show host back for a one off episode, featuring Jeremy Kyle interviewing Jeremy Kyle. Having had his show cancelled due to the suicide of one of his guests, [read...]
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Lab/Con talks abandoned after deadlock over biscuit choice
A fruitless row over biscuit choice has ended the Downing Street talks aimed at agreeing a Brexit deal. Both sides agreed there could not be a ‘no biscuit’ tea time situation for the talks, which have now been going on for three weeks. [read...]
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Crime to be nationalised under Labour
Labour has said that under them all crime will be nationalised, with the proceeds of crime being used to fund social programmes. ‘It makes perfect sense,’ said Labour leader Jeremy ‘fingers’ Corbyn. ‘Set a thief to catch a thief and all that – Parliament houses the biggest bunch of crooks in the land, [read...]