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Japan’s First Lady confirms ‘of course I speak bloody English’
Akie Abe, Japan’s First Lady, has spoken out against President Trump’s assertion that she speaks ‘no English, [read...]
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Ed Sheeran playing consistently for 24 hours not a charity event confirm Radio 1
A radio 1 listener has asked to be refunded after mistakenly pledging money to what he believed to be a charity event. [read...]
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Northerners to be given HS2 viewing gallery
A viewing gallery the size of a football stadium is to be erected near Liverpool to allow the manual workers of the industrial north and their families to view approaching high-speed electrified trains arriving from London. [read...]
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Danish police arrest ‘mad Prince Hamlet’ in double murder mystery
It was the mystery that had everything: love, intrigue, murder, insanity and feuding, all at the highest levels of society. Now, all of Europe is stunned to learn that police in Elsinore have arrested Denmark’s Prince Hamlet on two counts of murder. [read...]
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Chocolate bars aren’t smaller, we’re just fatter
Manufacturers have dismissed claims that confectionery favourites have shrunk, explaining that anything would look small in our ‘big fat, sausage fingers’. The Office for National Statistics concluded that 2,500 products that were previously thought to be subject to shrinkflation, [read...]
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Mother left devastated after womb receives 1-star TripAdvisor review
A mother has been left deeply upset after receiving a highly-critical review of her uterus on the travel website TripAdvisor. Sharon Harvey, 36, is said to have been ‘hurt and surprised’ by the short but damning write-up, [read...]
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Teen begs parents to stop using emojis
A teenager from London has pleaded with her parents to stop using emojis. 15 year-old Katy Smith has threatened legal action if she receives one more flying dolphin or monkey covering his eyes. ‘Actual grown-ups with jobs and mortgages should not be sending wink faces, [read...]
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Mark Carney forced to write letter to Mrs Carney
‘The Fiesta Mrs Carney uses as a run-around needed a service and MoT. Unfortunately the left hand front brake calliper was seized so that was a bit of a bill,’ he said. [read...]