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‘Grand Designs’ house constructed entirely out of forgotten Christmas puddings

owners 'couldn't build another thing'In one of the most ambitious self-building projects to date ‘Grand Designs’ presenter Kevin McCloud has revealed the first house to be constructed entirely out of forgotten Christmas puddings.

When Devonshire couple, Tom and Felicity Holmes realised that they could never afford to build their dream house out of traditional materials they were forced to think outside of the box. So, when Felicity discovered 17 years’ worth of unused Christmas puddings in the back of her mother’s kitchen cupboard, she experienced a true ‘Eureka’ moment.

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Lib Dems demand better Care in the Community

The Liberal Democrats have highlighted what they see as woefully inadequate provision of care in the community for soon-to-be Lib Dem ex-ministers and have demanded urgent action.

Lifetime Presidency ‘too short’ claims Putin

After two stints as President, two as Prime Minister and now another as President, Vladimir Putin is still unable to justify stepping down in the foreseeable future when there’s ‘so much more to do’, according to reports from the Kremlin.

Arab-Israeli conflict settled as Netanyahu & Hamas meet for ‘a few cheeky pints’

all it took was a decent manly seshBenjamin Netanyahu and Hamas leader Khaled Mashal last night announced a lasting settlement to the Israeli-Palestine conflict following a night of negotiations over eight pints of Fosters in the Lamb and Flag pub, Walthamstow.

Thousands turn out in Birmingham to see Noam Chomsky switch on Christmas lights

That's what makes him beautiful...Thousands of revellers have turned out in Birmingham city centre to celebrate the switching on of the Christmas lights by anarcho-syndicalist activist Noam Chomsky.

Chomsky, who wooed crowds at a similar event in London earlier this month, delivered a speech on revolutionary industrial unionism to rapturous acclaim before flicking the switch to herald the start of the city’s festive celebrations.

Disaffected UK extremists ‘may not be allowed to re-join the Conservative Party’

...won't be allowed abroad either, not that they would ever want to leave UKThe Prime Minister today announced a new raft of measures designed to combat the threat of Britons joining the shadowy extremist group UKIP, including removing the right of those individuals to later return to the Conservative Party.

Derbyshire man devises fellatio voucher scheme after breastfeeding initiative

Gary Prendergast, a 32 year old Derbyshire man, has successfully introduced a fellatio voucher scheme into his marriage.

Miliband to acquire white van and visible bumcrack

‘As it goes I favour the Transit, long wheelbase. It’s a classic innit. None of your foreign shite, Renault or whatever, as driven by some Latvian with a PHd in Economics, a thriving decorating business in Chigwell and a brother on benefits and probably out grooming or dogging most nights. Send ‘em back where they belong, is what I say, subject to the Human Rights Act and existing EU Legislation and the employment needs of a newly recovering economy.’

Men relish denouncing 1970s sexism while still repeatedly saying ‘tits’

Deep, meaningful, respectful, thoughtful, pert observation somewhere round hereShocking revelations about how senior figures from the world of entertainment got away with sexual harassment, combined with an unlimited appetite for instant nostalgia among those who grew up with Spangles and Raleigh Choppers, are creating an ideal situation for middle-aged men. For those who get paid to pass sardonic comment on long-forgotten sitcoms where ‘dirty old men’ leered at ‘dolly birds’, it is better still.

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