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Andrew Neil’s hair to step down
“When you’ve been sprayed with hairspray everyday for 40 years, you’d find it difficult to change.” [read...]
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Crystal Palace breakaway players still haven’t decided on new team name
A spokesman for the new team joked that unless the team also came up with a colour for their strip they will have to play their fixture next week against Chelsea naked. [read...]
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Anti-racist party promises to protect those of a ‘funny tinge’
‘Too long has racism existed on the extreme left and right of politics; whereas it really belongs in the centre’. [read...]
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Lonely woman in love with Zuckerberg for showing interest in her private data
For whatever reason, someone was finally interested in my intimate life. [read...]
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Outrage as DWP pass Chris Grayling fit for office
People up and down the country have been expressing outrage at the decision of the Department of Work and Pensions to pass yogurt-brained, failed media executive Chris Grayling as fit for office. ‘I had an uncle like him once’, [read...]
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Tory Brexit woes set to hit the small screen as big-budget sitcom spin-off
In what’s being seen as quite simply the most extraordinary development ever in British politics, it’s understood there is to be a General Election called in a matter of weeks when the entire Tory Frontbench, [read...]
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Man to undergo hipster-replacement surgery
43-year old Kevin Waters, who changed his name, or ‘culturally realigned’ as he calls it, to just ‘Cobi’, is to undergo pioneering hipster-replacement surgery. Cobi has taken the decision following a long period of reflection and discussions with his wife, [read...]
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Over-aged schoolboy ‘wants to return to Remain camp’
Boris Johnson, in an exclusive interview with “The Oldie”, has revealed that he wishes to return to the Remain camp, in order to have his career back. “I knew what I was doing when I opted to lead the Leave campaign at the last minute, [read...]