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Pensioner accidentally voted in as PM
Mrs Johnson was surprised at the news but, once matron had explained it, set about forming her manifesto with an enthusiasm not seen since her late husband’s funeral. [read...]
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Hipster loses beard
“It’s been hell, I haven’t been able to go out for overpriced coffee, eat street food or get more tattoos done.” [read...]
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Rugby needs to try harder says Chairman
With the popularity of Rugby taking yet another hammer blow on Sunday with English Crickets world cup success, [read...]
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JFK “was actually bemoaning difficulty of booking local restaurant”
“In retrospect, there is clearly a whole heap of sarcasm in ‘We choose to go to the moon in this decade'” [read...]
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Domestic abuse is always carried out humanely says Countryside Alliance
Speaking from his 16th Century converted Oast House, Timothy Ponsonby Smythe, a spokesman for the Alliance, said that this was yet another case of Townies that don’t have a clue about country ways and its people. [read...]
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Budget airlines to trial ‘Dismemberment Class’ flights
Dismembered passengers can travel at a – literally – cut-price rate, though there will be a £50 fee at the destination for re-connection, and some cessation of life might result. [read...]
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Trump threatens trade-war with Moon
“US has spend $bns on the moon over years an got nothing bak,” began one Tweet, concluding with “MUST END NOW!!!”. [read...]
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Northern Ireland’s bonfires just a bit of traditional harmless fun’ say DUP
“Ach, now it’s just a wee bit of harmless fun, and sure if you can’t burn the effigy of the head of one of the world’s oldest and biggest religions on a massive bonfire then that’s a sad state of affairs.” [read...]