For the first time in 130 years, at 2am on Wednesday night everything came off at the Moulin Rouge.
The sexy Parisian landmark - known in a thick local dialect as T' Red Windmill - lost its iconic sails, and therefore its ability to supply green energy to the artistic powerhouse that is Montmartre. Luckily, the erotic cabaret venue was able to switch to a backup supply, known as blue energy.
The Mayor of another French city has given her full support, and offered to pick up the slack in the dangerous under-supply of emergency risqué dance routines. 'At this orrifc time, our éxotic Moulin Rouge really needs a leg-up,' she said with a superfluous accent. 'We must, and we will elp. And if anyone can, Cannes can.'
Penises have been pointed at who is responsible for this tragedy, but unfortunately there is no French word for the word sabotage. The French centre right blamed the far right, and the far right blamed the foreigners. The centre left blamed Basque separatists, and Basque separatists blamed themselves. Importantly, the English far right intervened to blame Angela Rayner, and Piers Morgan blamed Meghan Markle's frilly knickers.
The actual mastermind behind this act of terrorism admitted, 'You're only s'posed to blow the bloody drawers off.'
image from pixabay