New Zealand to create Hobbit ethnostate
- Wrenfoe
- 5 hours ago
- 1 min read
Emboldened by the success of other genocidal maniacs, Halflings have decided to segregate New Zealand between those who get second breakfast and those that don’t. These little settlers have evicted rabbits from their holes and renamed the country Greater Shire.
Hobbits assert that New Zealand is their spiritual home, despite their European origins, and insist that ordinary bigfolk be purged. Pipe-smoking and gardening will be available to everyone, provided they are shorter than four foot and have hairy feet. When asked why they were killing innocent women and children, the hobbits claimed that Gandalf made them do it.
The US vetoed any attempt to block the hobbits and condemned the International Crimes Court for suggesting that hobbits were in the pay of Sauron. The US ambassador said: ‘It is anti-halfling to criticise the Greater Shire and they have every right to turn Gondor into a mole hill’. When asked, Smaug said: ‘I warned you.’