- Lockjaw
- Jul 7, 2022
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In a pre-emptive move, Royal Mail has announced that it will be charging on a 'per letter' basis for delivery of post to the address of Graham Brady, chair of the Conservative 1922 Committee for the next few days.
'We have suffered some tough economic conditions over recent months,' said a spokesperson for the Royal Mail, 'and this is just too good an opportunity to miss. We are expecting a big rise in post to Mr Brady over the next couple of days, and we could turn the fortunes our company round by moving to a simple piece rate charging system.
'We need to cover our costs too,' continued the spokesperson. 'We lost 2 posties to chronic back pain back in April, after having to deliver sack loads of no confidence letters to the PM to Sir Graham.
'This time round, we're investing a couple of big ship container crates to hold all the likely letters, and we'll schedule for twice-daily deliveries to try and keep on top of things.' continued the source.
In a goodwill gesture, the Royal Mail has offered a 50% discount to the PM himself for forwarding of his mail from Number 10 to to any new address he might happen to move to over the coming months.
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/no-longer-here-19203/
The software firm, Mojang, was excited to announce a $2.5bn synergy between their smash-hit computer game and Microsoft’s Windows Vista. With all the stability of a copy of Windows purchased on a Taiwanese holiday, the new platform would have ten minutes of auto-loads every time you boot up.
Mojang's founders released a statement from their two-mile high Lego-like mansion: ‘It will be the same game, just a painfully unreliable version of its predecessors'.
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