Generous Murdoch extends ‘back to work’ scheme to incompetent managers

In an act of selfless charity, known philanthropist Rupert Murdoch has provided a job for the criminally-inept editor, Rebekah Brooks. Many employers would have baulked at the idea of re-employing a manager that failed to notice organisational corruption on a massive scale. Not so Mr. Murdoch, who is renowned for his open-minded attitude to socialists, environmentalists and victims of the Hillsborough disaster.

A spokeswoman for NewsCorp said: ‘Yes, Mrs Brooks is clearly the most ineffective manager we’ve ever had. But gross misconduct is not a barrier to employment, provided you how to keep schtum’.

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Unemptied Edinburgh bin gets 4 star Fringe review

Edinburgh bin workers are striking during the Festival, leaving the city drowning in flyers and posh English drama school dropouts.

Eleanor Evans from Surrey is performing a self-penned one-woman street dance version of Ibsen's A Doll's House, described by reviewers as 'gruelling and not in a good way'. Her father is paying for her accommodation and venue. She flyers without remorse.

'I love the Scotch people, whatever it is that they're saying, but they don't have any fruit or vegetables here' stereotyped Evans, apparently unable to find a Tesco, Sainsbury's, Waitrose, Asda, M&S, Co-op or Morrisons. When shown the unemptied, overflowing bins she coo-ed 'Such a brilliant site-specific installation. 4 stars.'

Local resident Ian Ingram said 'What a load of old rubbish. Specifically a load of my old rubbish, although it is better than the Ibsen we saw. 1 star.'

Image: Emphyrio | Pixabay

Chaos as placard factory workers go on strike

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