UK experiences "anomaly" in the economy.

Observers say that they are "disappointed" after the UK economy nosed-dived after the much anticipated relaunch failed to gain enough height.

The pilot, Captain Sunak, made a safe take off of the PM 3 Dumbo. He then released the Hunt engineered Econ-bomb vehicle. All was thought to be going well. However, failure followed as the second stage failed. Pundits believe that the "anomaly" was caused by a lack of maths skills coupled with the failure of the 5-point booster which failed to move the craft into the anticipated orbit.

It has emerged that the take off nearly didn't take place at all as they had invited a Mr Kwarteng to make the countdown:

10, 9, 3, 6, 5, 2, 8, 1 Zero.

Harry Pothead and the Amazon wish list

The Harry formerly known as “Prince” has found a new way to cash in on any dwindling popularity he may have left, by publishing his Amazon wish list

He invites members of the public who still believe in him to show their solidarity by buying him the tools he needs to continue his campaign.

Items include; enough rope to hang himself, and a selection of shovels in ever-increasing sizes

Where no man has gone before