Multi-billionaire Elon Musk today had a very public meltdown when he heard people still referring to the social media platform he owns as Twitter.
'It’s not like the original name was so great anyway,” said the sulky plutocrat. “I mean, Twitter, seriously? And individual posts are called tweets? It’s stupid.
'My name for it, X, is way better, with posts called… well, I guess they’re still tweets, we didn’t really think that one through. Anyway, it’s my platform so I can call it what I like. And the little people have to fall in line.
'But every time it’s mentioned on the damn news, they say ‘X, formerly known as Twitter’… it’s like they’re telling people not to bother learning the new name.”
Meanwhile, trending on Twitter (sorry, X) was the topic that if Musk wanted to rebrand Tesla cars as “overpriced, impractical vanity purchases that only relocate the pollution to wherever the electricity is generated”, people would be happy to go along with that.
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Thanks to a quirk of UK time keeping, peace has broken out around the world. Flowers bloom, children sing and Bambi's mum is alive again. The Atomic Scientists declared all is right with the world; nuclear weapons do not exist and Mrs Brown's Boys never happened.
A whole hour backwards means we no longer have an election with Harris and Trump, we get to repeat the Obama election. You know, the 2009 Hope Obama who we all loved, not the actual President Obama who read your emails and drone-bombed everyone.
One scientist paused, as he skipped through a meadow, hand in hand with his boyfriend: 'Enjoy it while it lasts. The clocks go forward in March. It's going to be cockroach overlords come April and not the Hope-cockroaches either.'
Photo by Lukas Blazek on Unsplash