- Midfield Diamond
- Jan 22, 2025
President Trump has elaborated on his announcement that the Gulf of Mexico is to be renamed the Gulf of America, stating that other gulfs are to be renamed to be more patriotic too. Those with names that already reference America, such as the Gulf of Alaska and the Gulf of California, will not change. However, all other gulfs are subject to change, with the Arabian Gulf likely to become the African-American Gulf to reflect the average US citizen's understanding of Middle East geography.
Trump is also keen to maintain existing gulfs, such as the one between climate change science and his energy policy, and the one between English and the language that he and his supporters attempt to speak. Trump also denied any suggestion that he would reduce the size of the gulf between facts and the contents of his speeches.
Image: Newsbiscuit Archive
An excited Prime Minister explained that 100 was more than 1 and that a year was definitely longer than a second, but other than that he did not have a clue and was loving it! An aide said: 'This is fantastic, we'll be tied to the Ukraine for 100 years - what could possibly go wrong? It's not as if we were in a treaty with Russia only 80 years ago.
'We are absolutely convinced Ukraine and the UK will be exactly the same in a century. After all, its not as if AI or climate change exists. We are happy to make a long term commitment - which will out last our marriages, our teeth and life on Earth.'
The Ukraine was equally as pleased: 'We have been told that Keir Starmer is renowned for keeping his promises, so we have nothing to worry about.'
Image: WixAI