Tragically, beached whale is all washed up

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Crab Arrested for Upskirting.

Winner: MrQ

Runners-Up:

"Flooding in Manchester fails to deter party girl." (Deskpilot);

"Miss Simmons’ geology field trips were always popular with the boys of Year 11." (DickEveryman)

Been dumped by tweet?

Have you just been dumped callously by somebody you imagined loved and respected you? Did he do it over Twitter? Bastard. You’d already written his name on your pencil case, you’ll have to get another one now.

Does it hurt as much as that time you crossed the Atlantic to visit a sick friend, but he didn’t want to see you?

What you need is a holiday. We hear Clacton’s lovely.

Picture credit: Wix AI