Woman Coughs Up Entire Dog.

Winner: MrQ

Runners-Up:

"Reform launch their youth wing." (AdrianBamforth)

"I'm going to own up. You didn't sleep a wink because I put a pea under your mattress. On the plus side, you are a real princess." (Deskpilot).

"...And then we were Trapped in Finland for Ten Days. Had to Eat Rudolph, I'm Afraid."

Winner: Lockjaw

Runners-Up:

"So has Jimmy fixed it for you before?" (Granger);

"Ho, ho, ho! Evri child disappointed!" (JeremyNH).

"I Remember When all This Used to be Fjords"

Winner: Sinnick

Runners-Up:

"Of all the places to run in to your ex." (MrQ);

"Going with the floe." (Midfield Diamond).