James Insists on Going to Work, Despite Being Dead.

Winner: Sinnick

Runners-Up: "Home Office expected to be more compassionate after appointment of flesh-eating zombie." (Midfield Diamond); "Gary's wait in A&E was a little longer than he anticipated." (Dominic McG)

Axel's First Day as a Jehovah Witness is Not Going Well.

Winner: Doc Holiday

Runners-Up: "Did you call AngryAmateurProctologists4U?" (Lockjaw); "The intensity of Alan's 'rock, paper, scissors' game-play often shocked his opponents" (Flash Arry)

Primark Warm Spaces Initiative Praised by Truss

Winner: Ayeswideopen

Runners-Up: "Shocking evidence that horses get better sleeping quarters than jockeys." (Camz); "Suella Braverman decides to use immigrants as concrete filler." (Sinnick)