Giraffes hoping to celebrate World Giraffe Day last Tuesday by getting pissed in a Mozambique bar, were disappointed to learn that the bar didn't serve Heineken and had to make do with a beer that never refreshed some of their parts.
Image from Pixabay by mvdsande
https://pixabay.com/photos/giraffe-long-neck-zoo-animal-1124451/
As Finland prepares to join NATO, all the residents of Moominvalley are arming themselves to the teeth.
Quizzed about their state of readiness should the Red Army invade, Moominspokesman said, ‘We're like a snowy Viet Cong. Moominpappa now wears an ammo belt of grenades and is an expert with shoulder launched RPGs. Moomintroll, Snork Maiden and Snufkin can all assemble and disassemble an AK47 while blindfolded. Moominmamma’s handbag is full of knives and throwing stars. She can silently dispatch an entire platoon, whilst whispering 'The horror, the horror' like Brando.’
Moominspokesman continued, ‘It is imperative we preserve our Finnish values like heavy metal, Nokia 3210s and racing drivers. If those Russians try anything we'll send them to Hell's inky depths.'
Three sisters of Birnam Wood were caught in the act of cooking up the 'medicine' in a cauldron, of all things. Inspectors from NICE took samples and declared the constituents were 'unseemly'.
In response the foul and midnight hags declared that they were only trying to fulfil a need that was welcomed by many women across the kingdom.
Not having any particular powers over magick , the witches were told to aroint themselves from the immediate area or they would be brought before Dunsinane Assizes.
Image from Pixabay by darksouls1
