top of page

The first ten stories are set in a fictional, utopian version of York aka Yarwick while the other five are set in York as it was in my younger days. The stories are written to entertain but also to ask you to think about ways this wonderful city could be made even better.

 

Do you live in a city you love but would like to improve? Or in a dump which is in desperate need of change? What would you do if suddenly you had the power to enhance your environment? The first ten stories in this collection should give your imagination a boost to answer these questions. Set in the author's home city on York, transformed into Yarwick, the tales have ideas for how to set your town on the road to perfection.


Bill Banks is a rough diamond who has his own ideas of how the city should be and is ready to fight anyone or anything that gets in his way.


The collection is completed with five earlier stories set in York, which attempt to give the reader a feel for the atmosphere of this unique city.





Severe criticism of social services as Romulus and Remus placed in foster care of she-wolf.


Defence Secretary resigns after he admits god of war was named after chocolate bar.


'Momentous historic event' predicted as Caesar spotted calling office of Rubicon Ferry Services.


Remembrance Day for Punic Wars; hundreds of Hannibal's elephants show up.


'That stab vest makes you look fat,' Brutus tells Caesar, as he plots Ides of March hit.


Emperor Tiberius moves to quiet retirement community on Capri that offers 'underage boys and relaxing atmosphere of decadence and depravity.'


Claudius appoints horse to Senate, makes outgoing senator run in Grand National.


Rome burns; Nero fiddles fire insurance claim, and uses the proceeds to open a coffee shop.


Goths invade Roman Empire to seize valuable deposits of black hair dye and blue lipstick.


Picture credit: Wix AI


January 2024...


That TV program about the Post Office catapulted the story into the news, almost wiping out speculation about the date of the general election. Sunak tried to raise his profile, and lower Boris’s. Starmer continued to lie low and not say anything to frighten the voters. Water companies continued to muddy the waters over, err, muddy water. Small boats continued to bring people across the channel. You might notice that there are no stories about the various wars that were going on - always a difficult topic for jokes.


Here’s a personal selection of the top stories from January 2024, loosely organised by topic. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see our pick of the month’s best headlines.


Migration

General Election


Media and TV


Politics


Post Office


Water Companies


Religion



And a selection of the best headlines from January 2024


Some of these are topical and some are just silly. And many of the headlines, for some reason, seem to be about the Royal Family. So, no New Year honours for us, then...


Silver Spoon responsible for King's enlarged prostate  

Dog with two dicks, "quite happy" says vet 

Tories to employ Luke Littler to show them how to actually hit targets

All BBC programmes to include a tightrope-walker, for balance

Dodgy batch of underlay swept under the carpet

Drunk Olympics to include hurling for the first time

Man who found plane parts in his garden thought it was a delivery for next door

Man who wanted tablet for Xmas unhappy to get an aspirin   

Man says the 2 birds in the bush were better than the one in his hand

Wales’ biggest employer says Tata

Guitar school found to be institutionally bassist

Epstein fingered Andrew

Darts fans shocked at teenage boy has well honed wrist action

Florida adopts execution by Helium to "lighten the atmosphere"

Post Office scandal: Met Police investigate now that it's been on telly

Hasbro say five year wait for Operation is down to 14 years of Tory government

Northern rhinos saved from extinction by feeding them pies, chips and gravy

Pub football team hit with massive pints deduction       

Blunt pencil collection just pointless

Man who fell into an infinity pool says it took him forever to get out

Vwl thf stll t lrg



Image credit: Wix AI

bottom of page