Nottingham Council isn't going to talk to NewsBiscuit anymore

The Nottingham Post has found itself blacklisted by Nottingham Council, a subsidiary of Reform Ltd.  The Councillors aren't allowed to answer questions from the journalists or even to let them judge their colouring-in.

NewsBiscuit understands that its journalists (sic) are also banned from being provided soundbites, dubious factoids or frankly unbelievable claptrap from any part of the council, but especially from the elected morons.  In the absence of access to low quality information from lower quality councillors playing at running a council NewsBiscuit has no other option than to make stuff up and write articles that are almost, but critically not quite, libellous about the bell-ends running Nottingham Council. Their colouring-in, by the way, is atrocious.  They can't find the line, let alone stay inside of it.  Not libellous, just fact.

To save being banned by other Reform Ltd run councils it is now NewsBiscuit policy to write absolute bollocks about each and every other Reform Ltd council in the UK, just as we do and have done about any political entity since we started. 

However, following Reform UK Ltd CEO's claim in Washington that Reform Ltd doesn't silence critics or media, NewsBiscuit is now looking forward to seeing the Nottingham Post in Reform briefings soon.

image from Gemini

Warning alarm sounds every time Rachel Reeves thinks

The UK tested a new early warning system designed to remind people to sell their shares, the moment the Chancellor has a new idea. All phones will issue a high pitched squeak, like your bum on parquet flooring, as markets crash and pensions evaporate.

Other sounds will be used for the Cabinet; Wes Streeting an ice cream truck, David Lammy a slow trumpet wah wah and Liz Kendall the cackle of the Wicked Witch. Some will be more abstract, as Yvette Cooper opted for the sound migrants drowning.

Any announcement by Keir Starmer will be marked by a long embarrassing silence, followed by one polite cough and the sound of tumble weed. Any policy linked to Gaza will be accompanied by the sound of hands wringing, pearls clutching and fake liberal tears. But with no discernible impact.

mage from pixabay

Lego’s new Asylum Hotel set is their most expensive yet.

Lego has introduced its most expensive set this week, announcing the release of the Lego Ultimate Collection Series Asylum Hotel. Priced at £2bn it is Lego’s first-ever item to cost ten figures.

The 9,000-plus piece set means there is no shortage of bricks for their Lego rioters to lob at the Lego Police..

The new set is a vertical diorama set, has more than 15 rooms that depict many iconic scenes from the on going issues, “No Hope,” and “Return of the Immigrants,” according to the Reform Party’s website.

The set also contains 38 mini figures, including Nigel Farage, Lee Anderson and Dame Andrea Jenkyns in a sparkly blue jumpsuit, the company said on its website.

Lego’s previous set that was its most expensive was the part built HS2 railway, a 7,541-piece set which broke all records, costing several million pounds eight years ago.

Roughly 15 per cent of Lego’s sets are marketed for responsible adults, which rules out most of the Reform Party.

image from google gemini