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New Mad Max film to become a documentary




With fuel prices set to rise, the world is expected to don its leather biker gear and fight to the death for the last drop of unleaded. Advice is to redesign your wardrobe for airflow, spikes, and intimidation.


Community will be essential — car-cult membership optional. Matching paint jobs and a shared belief in vehicular destiny is a must. And what matters is confidence-so grease on your face, and shout 'She’ll run!' before flooring it.


If you can strap a flamethrower to an electric guitar, congratulations — you are now responsible for the soundtrack of the apocalypse. Maps are for cowards. Drive into the wasteland on vibes alone. And the White House explained. 'Fuel will be the new currency. Treat petrol the way your nan treats teabags: hoard it, guard it, and only bring it out for very special occasions.' In other news, King Pyrrhus of Epirus phoned and asked Donald Trump if he can have his victory back.


Image: Wix AI

End of Days promises balmy weather


As Christian zionists salivate over building the Third Temple and ushering in the age of Gog and Magog, the rest of us can expect a delightful Spring. Said one weather caster. "It'll initially be long evenings of lawn tennis and fruit punch, followed by the Anti-Christ and his demonic horde. So do try to enjoy the sunshine while you can."


This was confirmed by Beelzebub, "Yes, there'll be eternal suffering but you'll have plenty of time to appreciate the daffodils-before you're pushing them up. Why not redecorate? You've been putting it off. And after all, you've got all the time in the world-literally."


Explained one theologian, "The important thing is not to let the Apocalypse disrupt your plans. And if you really want to indulge in hell on earth, there's the FIFA World Cup to look forward to."



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