The redundancies have been lovingly made from not very sustainable working contracts. Meaning 11% of the workforce will now be spraypainted and upcycled on Ebay.
Each sacking will have been painstakingly made using traditional sacking methods from a festive Victorian Market. The Ye Olde feel extends to all the unemployed dying of rickets.
Sporting a shabby-chic distressed look, the staff will be repackaged as 'artisanal unemployed'. One sacked employee remarked: 'It's sad to get the letter but look at the penmanship and on vellum too!'