Eric Siddings, 66, has been nominated for a BAFTA after producing a career defining performance as Santa at the local primary school.
'My last acting gig was aged ten as a surprisingly smooth-chinned Jesus at the school performance of the Last Supper,' said Siddings at a press conference today. 'I used my own beard,' the grey-chinned retired project manager added. He explained how he'd stopped trimming his beard for the last two months, smoothing it down with engine oil in an attempt to ensure the children at the school didn't work out his ruse when he collected his grandchildren.
'On the day of the performance I went full method, bulking myself with a folded one-tog duvet around the midriff and spiking my beard with lard from the fridge to access my inner Michael Sheen,' he said. Early reviews included three children who had changed their mind about the existence of Santa, two who did believe reconsidering and an unknown number understood to be consulting with their legal teams. Apparently, Christmas Day presents from Santa will determine whether multiple breaches of contract will be submitted.
'I think it went rather well,' said Siddings, shrugging the red suit off. 'I hope so because I don't want to spend the next fifty years waiting for the phone to ring.'
