Putin asks China if he can borrow the Terracotta Army

The Chinese Emperor Qinshihuang had a standing army of thousands of Terracotta Soldiers and Horses who have had a reputation for never retreating even when facing Burial or being taken prisoner.

Now they are going to be exported to the front line In Donbas, where they can be cast into the stationary battlefront, where Putin hopes they will stand their ground.

If they become damaged in the meat grinder, they could still earn their keep after being ground up and recast several times over.

So, 'all the Clay Horses and all the Clay men, Putin could stick back together again.'

Trumpty Dumpty was not available for comment.

Picture credit: Wix AI

Whereabouts of crashed Soviet era spacecraft unknown

China Tees Off On Trump

The ongoing trade war between China and the Trump administration looks set to end abruptly after the Chinese government dealt Donald Trump a devastating blow. The Chinese government has purchased the majority shares in every single golf tee manufacturing company on the planet, and has decided to move all golf tee production to China.

With the new tariffs set by Trump, the price of a set of four standard golf tees has risen from around $3 to around $8. On top of that, China has decided to set a blanket export tax for all goods from China to the USA, of $20,000. Therefore, a set of four standard golf tees will cost the flatulent President, $20,008 each.

Upon receiving the news, and with no golf tees to take to Scotland when he visits the King on his second state visit to the UK, President Trump issued the following statement:

‘I love the Chinese. I love the Chinese people, I love the Chinese culture, I love the Chinese food. They’re a nation of great wall builders – fantastic walls. You know they have a wall you can see from space? With the naked eye, from space you can see their walls – fantastic walls – fantastic people. And crackers to die for – I love their crackers.

Honestly, I wish we could build walls like the Chinese – a very proud people. Very proud of their walls’.

The world waits and watches with baited breath to see what the results of this power move from the Chinese will be.

image from pixabay