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The ongoing trade war between China and the Trump administration looks set to end abruptly after the Chinese government dealt Donald Trump a devastating blow. The Chinese government has purchased the majority shares in every single golf tee manufacturing company on the planet, and has decided to move all golf tee production to China.



With the new tariffs set by Trump, the price of a set of four standard golf tees has risen from around $3 to around $8. On top of that, China has decided to set a blanket export tax for all goods from China to the USA, of $20,000. Therefore, a set of four standard golf tees will cost the flatulent President, $20,008 each.


Upon receiving the news, and with no golf tees to take to Scotland when he visits the King on his second state visit to the UK, President Trump issued the following statement:


‘I love the Chinese. I love the Chinese people, I love the Chinese culture, I love the Chinese food. They’re a nation of great wall builders – fantastic walls. You know they have a wall you can see from space? With the naked eye, from space you can see their walls – fantastic walls – fantastic people. And crackers to die for – I love their crackers.


Honestly, I wish we could build walls like the Chinese – a very proud people. Very proud of their walls’.


The world waits and watches with baited breath to see what the results of this power move from the Chinese will be.


image from pixabay

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Old Trumpy Trump, the Satsuma of Injustice himself, has declared tariffs on China to be 104% or 154% or 1054% or whatever, as long as it's slightly more than China responds with.


A White House statement denied that the tariff percentage numbers were calculated by dividing the number of shots that Trump actually takes to get round a golf course by the much lower number of shots he claims that he takes.


Trump has claimed that a disproportionate trade barrier is literally the worst thing the USA has ever done to Vietnam. He also maintains his pronunciation of 'China' is correct, and an Executive Order will make it mandatory in school text books, despite it being so obviously weird and wrong.



Image credit: Deep Dream Generator

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